you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
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