I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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