I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I currently don't understand fingers.
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