So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
