Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
