My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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