Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
So gin and wine won't be happening again
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
