He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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