Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
