someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
