"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
