The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
