ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
