Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
She needs sedatives and a leash
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
You can't just leave with hair like that
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
