I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
