I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
