Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize