it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
