Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
