Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
