Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
