I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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