absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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