Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
