some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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