why do cheetos always look like penises
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
This is classic penis vs brain.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
