Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
