I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
