I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
You may now shotgun with the bride
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
