Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
