no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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