If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
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