Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
