Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Randomize
