So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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