If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
the condom got lost in my hair
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
