just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
