I faked an abortion last night.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
