Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
