Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
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