ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I'm gonna have a badass scar
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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