Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
