Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
