I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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