Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
