Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize