I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize