..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
