you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
