there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize