i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize
