got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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