I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
