I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize