Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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