i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
