Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
