i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize