So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
