): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
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