How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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