I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
