im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
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