thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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