my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
