We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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