just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
The beers last night were like the tears from god
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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