just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize