Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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