i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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