Can i not drive my cunt home
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
