I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
so let's talk penis.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
