I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
that is very illegal...i love you.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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