**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
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