Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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